When you think about the messages you’ve sent over the years to catch up with an old colleague, or grow your network with new connections, how do they sound? 

Are they focused on what you’re looking for and that you need a job? Are they notes that ask folks to ‘keep you in mind for anything that they see’ with your resume attached? Are they asks to ‘pick someone’s brain’ about their work? 

If so, you’re missing your opportunity to come across as an engaged, rockstar professional who can add value from that first introduction!

Your goal should be to position yourself as an engaged, accomplished professional who can contribute value from the very first interaction.

One of the most critical elements to get right is the 2-3 sentence introduction in your outreach email, as it sets the tone for how the recipient perceives you and whether they want to connect further.

Let’s take an example:

Abby, a woman with experience in private equity supporting social impact ventures, wanted to transition back to working directly for a startup. Initially, her outreach notes to startup leaders sounded like this:

Hi X - I’ve followed your company for some time and am really impressed by what you’re building. I spent 10 years working in startups and am looking for my next role where I can add value as a strategist and revenue builder. I’m very interested in what is happening in the food startup world around alternative meats in particular, which I know you are focused on. I’d love to pick your brain for 30 minutes about what is happening in your company and what challenges you’re facing. 

If you were this founder, what would you think? What if you got this version instead?:

Hi X - I’ve been following your company for some time and figured it was time to reach out. I’m currently an Operating Partner at Renaissance Capital, and am looking to get back into the startup hustle. I spent 7 years at Better Lettuce (a sustainable food startup) - starting pre-launch as one of 15 team members and eventually becoming their Head of Operations & Revenue, growing the business to $70M and 125+ staff. I’m looking to talk to folks who are building great sustainability products and love what GR8Meals is doing with alternative meats. Would you have 30 minutes to talk about where you might need support and/or discuss what you’re seeing in the food startup ecosystem that might help me clarify where to focus my search? 

In this version, Abby showcases her impressive experience, quantifies her impact, and expresses genuine interest in the recipient's work. She positions herself as someone who can add significant value. 

Here’s a template if you’re doing a cold outreach to find job possibilities:

[Your name] am currently [title / what you oversee]. [What you’re looking to get into / back to / take your experience next.] [IMPACT sentence about the most transferable piece of work with $’s #’s %s.] [What you really love and what types of missions light you up.] Would you be up for a brief conversation to discuss what you’re seeing in the [type of industry] industry that might help me clarify where to focus my search? 

But what if you don’t know exactly what you’re looking for in your next job, you ask? 

If you’re truly trying to explore a few different idea, you can still craft a compelling introduction with a strong hook and an impact sentence that will resonate with the person you’re reaching out to. 

Here’s an example: 

When Madeline, a client had experience in UK higher education and healthcare, was trying to break into those industries in Virginia, she drafted separate emails with different hooks and impact sentences depending on who she was contacting.

Her education-specific outreach note sounded like this:

Hi David - I’m reaching out to see if you might be willing to connect to share your experience in higher ed institutions here in Virginia. I recently relocated from London and spent the last 3 years there at the Ministry of Education (similar to the VA Dept of Ed) where I was the lead project manager in creating a new university (London Interdisciplinary School) in less than 18 months from conception to completion. I know there’s a lot going on in VA public higher ed institutions and I’d love to buy you a coffee to get your perspective and advice for breaking into this world. 

And when she reached out to a hiring manager to chat about a project management role at a consortium of primary care clinics, she sent this note via LinkedIn, which the hiring manager responded to:

Hi Sally! Coming from a background project managing key initiatives to improve performance at 30 primary health care clinics in the UK, I'm intrigued by the open Program Manager role at Primary Care of Arlington. Would you be up for a quick chat? 

In the first one, she pulled out an impact sentence about her education-specific work. In the second, it was a short and sweet note with an impact sentence specific to healthcare. 

When you’re creating your outreach note - either for an informal networking conversation, or as an introduction to a potential hiring manager - consider these two pieces:

1. What is your hook? The hook is what you have worked on previously that leads you to think that the type of work/mission that you’re reaching out about is what you want to do next. Examples of hooks are: 

• My most recent project was focused on behavioral health and I loved it, and that’s why I’m exploring this sector more.

• I spent 5 years in nonprofit consulting firms, then went in house and really miss the variety of projects and business development, so I’m looking to get back to consulting.

• I just wrapped up a client engagement creating a suite of internal career development programs for one company and would love to understand more about what these programs look like at other companies.

2. What is your impact sentence? This is the sentence that makes the reader say ‘oh wow. I should look at this person’s resume or talk to them!’ Examples of impact sentences are: 

• I supported 15 behavioral health clinics to streamline their project management systems, which cut admin hours of case managers by 15% in just 3 months.

• I served as the lead consultant on three major year-long technology transitions for two of the biggest nonprofits in the country.

• I’ve supported 350+ individuals through career transitions over the last 8+ years with 1:1 coaching, with the average client making a major transition in less than 9 months.

Really want to keep it short and sweet? Combine the two pieces above. Here how that might sound: 

• My most recent project was behavioral health-focused - I supported 15 behavioral health clinics to streamline their project management systems which cut case manager admin hours by 15% in just 3 months. I really enjoyed this project, and that’s why I’m exploring what’s going on within the behavioral health landscape to see where I might be able to plug in.

• I spent 5 years in nonprofit consulting firms, then went in house and really miss the variety of projects and business development. I’ve previously served as the lead consultant on three major year-long technology transitions for two of the biggest nonprofits in the country. I’m looking to get back to consulting and that’s why I’m reaching out to you.

• After supporting 350+ individuals through career transitions over the last 8+ years with 1:1 coaching - with the average major transition taking clients less than 9 months. I’m curious as to what it would look like to take that work in house to support corporate career development programs.

Someone else making the introduction for you?

If your contact is introducing you to someone else, you’ll make their job 10x easier if you offer to send them 2-3 sentences for them to pass along (ideally written in the 3rd person so they can copy and paste it easily!) that have your hook and your impact sentence. It might sounds like this:

• Keith’s most recent project was behavioral health-focused - he worked with 15 behavioral health clinics to streamline their project management systems cutting case manager admin hours by 15% in just 3 months. He’s exploring what’s going on within the behavioral health landscape to see where he might be able to plug in, so of course I thought that you would be great to talk with about how you’ve seen this industry evolve over the last few years.

• Sally spent 5 years in nonprofit consulting firms, then went in house to the Red Cross recently but mentioned she really misses the variety of projects and business development. She was the lead consultant on three major year-long technology transitions for two of the biggest nonprofits in the country. She wants to get back into consulting and I thought you’d be a great person to connect with to hear about what firms are seeing these days in terms of client demands and types of projects.

• After supporting 350+ individuals through career transitions over the last 8+ years with 1:1 coaching, Emily is exploring in-house positions where she could support corporate career development programs. I know you work on those types of things at Nike, so I thought what better person to chat with her than you!

As you grow in seniority, people will expect you to talk about more than just tasks and responsibilities; they want to know your results. You set yourself up to be seen as a thoughtful and impressive professional if your outreach notes show a clear hook for your interest or transferable strengths, plus some specific results. 

So the next time you craft your outreach note, think about your hook and your impact sentence!